WHAT SHE DOESN’T KNOW WON’T HURT HER

You have got to admit it, travelling is exciting! The adrenalin rush, new people, different culture, the uncertainty, the anxiety, the feeling of ‘no one knows me around here’……. The list is endless. My 1^st visit to Kampala, was probably the most random thing I ever did….. but now I know it was truly by God’s design. It was in August 2010, a childhood pal and I had planned to travel to Dar-es - Salaam only for our plans to backfire 3 days prior to the date of travel and oh boy was I crushed seeing that I had already packed my bag! We just had to get Plan B since we were already on a traveling high. My pal had some longtime friends who’d been asking to host her and so she took up their offer, and being Ugandans, for them 3 days was enough notice to prepare to receive and host us. Now, I naturally love taking photos, but while away from home…. I usually go to great extents to capture them memorable moments. Anywho, we had an awesome time with our tourist packed schedule….. and so ofcourse through the entire experience I clicked and posed, clicked and posed. At some point one of our hosts - my new found friends - actually nick named me the ‘photowey’ one, I just wouldn’t let anything pass by the lense! So the day before we headed back to Nairobi I decided to have one last memorable photo moment, so upon a dare by my crazy friends, I… a grown woman…. climbed on top of the elephant sculpture at Nakumatt Oasis Mall and took a picture there!! Now, for the sake of those not so familiar with Kampala, Oasis Mall is one of the most popular malls, you know that place where you are likely to meet anyone and everyone at any time? Right!! Now I look back and wonder what I was thinking…… Lucky for me I had not met Hun yet, however as fate would have it, exactly 2 ½ years from the time I took the picture, I got married and moved to Kampala. So now I live here and Oasis Mall is where the church we attend is located, so I am reminded of my ‘indiscretion’ quite often.

So that is my streak of craziness when am out of town. Now, we all have that one thing that is a must do when away from home. Some of us are foodies – love sampling foreign/new cuisines, for others is learning the history of the place, others yet it is making friends and the list goes on. AND THEN we all know there are those who have to absolutely knock boots with a stranger (or otherwise) for their away-from-home experience to be fulfilled. What makes it very sad is that a good number of these people are married. I keep hearing of these horror stories from time to time. I have heard of people who go for those cheap thrills yet they would ‘die’ if their spouses found out and left them. Like seriously? Why would you hurt someone you care about? I know, I know….. they say what she doesn’t know won’t her.  But then when - not if - the truth comes out, we grovel, promise the sun and the moon just to show how sorry we are. And add…. ‘I never meant to hurt you’. You might as well be saying that you actually were expecting a bouquet of flowers from her congratulating you for the conquests. Am often baffled by this argument, does it mean….. it only becomes wrong when she finds out? Are we normally sorry because we were indiscrete or are we sorry that our spouse found out? The truth is you hurt them the minute you exchanged bodily fluids with another woman, not the minute she finds out.

Now before am virtually mob-justiced by men reading this article, and to be fair, unless these guys are not straight, they are often ‘getting lost in the moment’ with women so that makes us enablers and the Bible has no kind words for such, referring to these women by such names as adulterers/ immoral etc. I once overheard a lady say that she once traveled for a conference and ended up ‘in bed’ with a Japanese guy who they could not even communicate verbally due to language barrier! That statement is so wrong on so many levels I will not even get into that. So I write, well knowing that it is a two way street.

Unfortunately, these things do come out eventually. Sooner or later, dead or alive someone will suffer the consequences. The book of Proverbs Chapter 7 is very candid about adultery and especially being lured by the ‘immoral woman’. It says following her to her bed is like following a path to death. There is death – of trust, relationship, physical death etc. Oh and woe unto you if you have one of them prayerful spouses – I advise you to zip it in and take to piggy back rides on sculptured animals in embarrassing places when abroad, waaaaaay less heart ache for everyone and way easier to explain yourself – I think ;-)