Bliss or Blisters? (Repost from 13 March 2013)

So its been four and a half weeks since tying the knot and two weeks since I relocated to the land of Museveni and I can confidently say that all factors considered, I am adjusting pretty well. I am finding Ugandans generally friendly and even though half the time I do not understand a thing they are saying to me, I do feel the love..... so I simply smile and nod and swiftly move along to discourage any more exchanges. 

So far I have settled on local brands of milk, bread and sugar (things I used to take for granted)... I did my first 'taxi' ride (that is a matatu) and alone for that matter, oh and they have no route numbers! The taxis or cabs as we know them, are referred to as special hire... or just special!

I am happy to have found me this lady who is awesome at braiding hair though at the down town (really down town). I've also learnt abit of the lingo, albeit the hard way, like when you are asked if you want a ''puff'' at the salon, they DO NOT mean a cigarette they simply mean ponytail and a hairband is therefore called a ''puff holder'' ......... while at it, may I also point out that dhania is called OATMEAL and arrow roots or 'nduma' are known as yams (sigh!)

In the past 2 weeks I have prepared more meals than I did in the last 1 year as a single (kumbe nawesmek). I am YET TO make my maiden matoke meal, hop onto one of these crazy boda bodas..... find a good brand of rice..... oh and am yet to complete unpacking 

Learning to un-schedule

It is a beautiful day in Kampala....  only a few months here and the land of Museveni and all the wonderful people here are really growing on me. Though, certainly not the pot-holes, but that is a story for another day. 

Marriage might have brought me here, but it is the warm people and a 'taste' of the different culture that make me want to stay, in addition of course to being with Hun. I find Ugandans generally very friendly. They embrace community which seems to have rubbed off on all the many ‘Ugandanized expatriates' I have met too. People actually know their neighbours. Any flimsy reason is good enough for a get-together over bbq or 'muchomo' as locally known. Most fascinating to me are children's birthdays, baptisms, etc. The difference here is that these children's parties usually have a more adults to children ratio... and I mean like 5:1 or so. Sometimes there is even no reason at all for the link-ups.... perhaps just catching up or like for one I attended over the weekend, a pool party organized by our marriage enrichment group, to get to know each other’s families/ children. Well, at least this time the ratio was nearly 1:1, the operative word being 'nearly' since as usual the adults out-numbered the little people.

Back home in Kenya get-togethers just don't happen, they have to be planned months or at least weeks in advance, at least among my various circles of friends…. and I was okay with that. I actually preferred staying indoors unless it was ABSOLUTELY necessary: work, school, church, going to look for food. After all, I kept in touch: I face booked – liked  and commented on posts & pictures, posted on timelines and inboxed - I phoned, I texted, I whatsapp’d and I even emailed.

Yet, I have been blessed with the most amazing group of friends and family, who, by the way I love hanging out with a lot. Most of them, pure nut cases and spending any amount of time with them guarantees that by the end of it, I'll be in stitches. Now, considering that am that person who enjoys good humor with long, loud belly laughs - still rolling on the floor long after everyone else got over the joke - I look back and wonder why I felt I needed to 'schedule' spending time with these wonderful people.

Now am away, at least for a while. Even though I plan to make regular trips back home, my now ‘long-distance’ relationships will never be the same. For one, am having to learn how to live further than a -30-minutes’-drive away from my BFF of 26 years. She was one of the few un-scheduled people in my life, of course mostly because she had a copy of my house keys and she did let herself in anyway whether or not on schedule.

Letter to Lauren

Gone Too Soon

I hope there is Facebook in heaven and somehow, Saint Peter will get to read this to you since you are too young to have your own account.

Lauren darling, our tears won’t stop flowing as we try to come to terms with the fact that, just like that, you are no longer with us. I was at your house today and there was definitely something missing – you full of life and asking all sorts of questions… you were one fun and intelligent guy who always wanted to learn something new.

Your mummy and daddy are inconsolable, they loved you very very much and even though your baby sister Karen is too young to comprehend what is going on she surely senses something is amiss. Your cousin Byron is heartbroken that he never got to take you out for swimming as you guys had agreed, but guess what, we’d scheduled it for this coming Sunday. We were to take you to a kids’ pool party. You’d have had fun as you always did whenever you hang out with him.

We look at the pictures we took at our home in April and think, if only we’d known that was the last time we’d see you, we’d have hugged you more tightly, for longer and we’d have spoiled you thoroughly!

Even though it is a very difficult time, we thank God for blessing humanity with your sweet self, albeit for a short time. Only He knows why He had to take you away a few days to your 5th birthday. Oh how I wish in his reply, St. Peter would snitch to us.

PS: I forgive you for laughing so hard at the thought of me enrolling in your school since in your words, I was ‘too big’….. you should know I now go for jogging.

Dirt Unleashed

Several months back before our big day I had a conversation with two already married female cousins and they mentioned how sometimes marriage brings out an ugly side of yourself that you did not even know about.

As I entered this institution, I thought my biggest character flaw was the fact that I despised housework - cooking being on top of the list. I remember even telling my hubby-to-be then that he'd need to be patient with me on that one as I worked on it. Four months down the line and boy oh boy, I have come to meet another side of me that isn't too pretty. Forget the housework and cooking, which I now do with a smile while whistling a tune!

This one has got to do with the condition of the heart and being totally unfair to my husband. Even the fact that am a regular church goer - even volunteer, I pray and read the Bible often... I have found that am not exempt from such human weaknesses and so I need to be teachable, that I do not know it all. Am lucky I have a very patient and prayerful husband who keeps reminding me that we are work in progress.

I thought I needed to share this story, it might resonate with someone out there.... I am grateful to have a good support system: An awesome husband, our NDOA group - Mavuno K'la, family and sister-friends! 

Having previously posted this in another forum, the feedback from those who have been in marriage longer was that in marriage you are Work-in-Progress till, as you vowed, death do you part!